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raguslil
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Name: Bev
Country: United States
State: Illinois
Metro: Champaign-Urbana
Gender: Female
Interests: Mysteries; history; Great Britain; computers; people and animals equally; and poetry..others not mine, for without it life would be unbearable.
We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time.
- T.S. Eliot
Expertise: The courage of my convictions
Occupation: Retired
Industry: Other
Message: message meEmail: email me
Member Since:
4/27/2004
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Matthew 6: 14,15
Dear Lord Jesus:
Heal my family, and heal me.
Amen.
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I think many people are unable to see themselves as others see them. This person could be cruel to another and cause them much pain and convince themselves that it is their right and it is not cruel but a vindication. In convincing themselves that this is the way others see it, a validiction is given to their action. To the victim of the cruelty it is a wound that refuses to heal. To the perpetuator it is an action that allows for future cruelties. The sad part is that no one would be able to convince the perpetuator that there was a cruelty. Is our conscience really our guide? If we convince ourselves that our conscience is God-given and it is not, would we know that? Would an uneasiness warn us? If we had no one who we trust to come to the defense of the object of your cruelty, would it be possible to view this person objectively. It is a question that by it's very nature is unanswerable. If a victim forgives a cruelty given with the excuse that the perpetuator "knows not what she does" is that being an enabler? What if the victim is unable to reach the perpetuator? Is it safe to hide...is it moral? If the victim cannot see herself as others see her, is she really the victim? Who would you seek to give you the correct answer? Is there a correct answer? It would have to do with perception on the part of the one who gives the answer. Serenity is not a permanent condition. It is based on daily reflection and takes so much time some days that it is impossible to achieve. Perhaps this is because it would be impossible to appreciate a day of serenity without the pain of achieving it. Judge not lest you be judged. How hard is that? Some days it is impossible, especially if you are the one in pain. To protect your self-image, you either succumb or you counterattack or you hide. Then again, perhaps not. For I make that conscious choice inwardly, not once but repeatedly. There could be another choice I have not yet recognized or found or even know exists. What if you were the guilty as charged and deserving of being surgically removed from an offspring's life. Would you be able to recognize your role and be astute enough to acknowledge it? If you do not deserve this, how do you fight back. Is it even wise to try? I think not, thus this post.Does this person realize the story of the blind men describing an elephant, pertains to this situation? A number of blind men were allowed to feel the contours of an elephant all at the same time. When they described it none of them described it in the same way. Perception....denial....introspection....truth as it exists perpetually not just in us. |
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| I had an epiphany just now. I thought I would never feel normal again after these last few days. I had breakfast in my chair and happened to tune in to the channel on TV that was showing "Under the Tuscan Sun". I have seen it before, but left it on...unusual for me. It spoke to me. Frances goes thru several heartbreaks without crumbling, but coming close. I have as well. Each time someone or something urged her on. In one scene she wonders if she is crazy for buying and renovating an old house for a future so uncertain. Her friend tells her of the train tracks built in the Alps between Vienna and venice before there was a train to travel on them. I have done that...I operate as if. Katherine tells her that if you do not lose your childlike pleasures, you will eventually reach your goal. I have not lost my pleasures. Any number of things usual and unusual can make me smile. She learns that the goals she thinks she is trying to reach are the ultimate, yet there could be another that is even better that she has yet to find. That is living faith and shouting hope. I have done that... I remember.... I can do it again, I know I can.
I am feeling better. This was a tough week. I knew all the right things to do and did them. I didn't want to and I wept for a family I do not have, but just like Frances, instead of giving up, I shouted hope and found it. | | |
| I am trying something else today. I have applied makeup and styled my hair and put on an attractive smock. I am tired of being sick. Norman Cousin's book "Anatomy of an Illness" explains "How one man proved your mind can cure your body." He doesn't mean cancer, but he did have a life=threatening disease that he fought with humour. My personality calls for a perception that I look well. If I look in the mirror and see this sick woman, then I feel sick. Let's see what happens.
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| I am back to square one since taking the last of the Theraflu. Now it's nauseau...yuckkkk!
Please pray for my sweet niece, Peggy. She needs each and every prayer you can give her, please!
I am going back to bed!
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